Well darlings, Happy New Year. This shall always be an auspicious time for J. J. Sunshine’s. we started our comic on January 1st of 2007, so yesterday marks our first year. Maseltov for us. 2008 shall be a year of development for us, our universe is established and you are going to see many more storylines and character development. As of right now we are only planning on adding one more character to the comic over the next year, that is subject to change of course but we feel that we are lacking but one element as far as characters go and we will be adding her soon, soon being a relative turn of phrase. The first big thing on deck this year is going to be a massive Bruckheimer-esque orgy of action that will be the longest storyline we have done to date. So big that we will be running a week of previews for it. We are very excited about the project tentatively titled “One Night Only”.

Now for a bit of personal reflection…

Those who know me and those who have read my blog know that my favorite metaphor for the New Year is that of the temptress and the tart. I feel it to be quite apt. A temptress can have a heart of gold, a tart can be virtuous. But there is something about them that makes you stop and think, and sometimes can fill you with dread. And 2008 sets her gaze upon me from across a smoke filled room.

She sways to the rhythm of my soul, her eyes pierce me and my heart flutters. Oh the promises she will make, oh the love she will lay at my feet, but what of the morning what of the dawn. Shall I awake enrapt in slender giving arms, or cold and alone to face the coming storms of that which is she, the New Year. And yet in spite of my Spartan reserve, in spite of my self deprecating questions and doubt I find my feet tapping to the beat of the rhythm of her hips, my gaze held by the sirens call, my legs twitching to the newly spun songs of love and optimistic elation. She is a killer on the dance floor, can I mimic the steps, am I fallen already under the spell of the New Year. So be it thou tender trap, thou virtuous temptress, so be it. But I beg of you darling, be ye kind to me in the morning. So I take her by the waist and I swing her round to the driving rhythm of what is to come and I hope, I pray, I pine for the best. My sweet New Year lets never fight again…

So its time for the final taking of stock in all things temporal and fleeting as 2007 gurgles and moans its last dying breath. This time last year I declared it the year of the Phoenix, for it would begin with the death and the fiery destruction of the old way, which it did, and rise anew from the ashes, stronger, faster, better than before. My prophecy was either true or self fulfilling for here it is the end of the year and I have risen to greater heights than I thought myself capable this time last year. And yet I have done so without fulfilling even one of the plans I had at the beginning of 2007. Perhaps this is what Mick meant when he wrote “You Can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need.” For truer words could not be spoken of my 2007.

Yes dear reader I had many plans at the beginning of 2007, many schemes and stratagems. And not one of them came to fruition and I am much the better for it. Shall I recount them for you… No I think not, t’would be too sad a story filled with too many pitfalls and to tell it would make you think I am wounded and that is not true at all, I have been shaped by a few misfortunes, I have gained hard won lessons, and I am a more stable and brighter soul now, and the sun shines on my face once again.

I thought my divorce would be amicable, and in the legal sense it was, but that certainly did not work out the way I had hoped, but my children are safe with me and adjusted to the changes and I will give them all the stability and love I can muster as the years pass. I thought to love a woman this time last year; I planned to be with her by this time. I tore it down once, propped it back up, and then watched it collapse before me. I walked away and though it was a lesson harder learned than most I am better for it, better than I can truly describe on this page. There were many other lessons, lessons about trust, and love, and emotion and reason and how they are sometimes at odds. Lessons about letting the wrong person in, lessons about putting walls up for the right person, lessons about everything that makes a man whole and complete. And I like to think I have marked well these caveats, and heeded the words of the wise in all these matters. I’m pretty sure I have but that is yet to be seen.

What a winding road has lead me here to the end of the year. It began with a bang and an explosion of flame. The first quarter saw the ending of my 9 year tribulation and the fostering of a new life, a new sense of independence and individuality. The comic began the 1^st day of the year and it began the true reawakening of my creative side. Oh I had written things in the last 5 years, like Twilight, and the first batch of comics. But most of it was morose and dark and it had been years since I had found a melody or written a song or a poem. But now I found myself possessed of a muse who filled me with both love and anxiety, forbidden fruit has that effect. Combine that with the fact that my soul was not being sapped of all its strength every single day when I returned home and viola. For the first time in years I penned verse and song, I found a melody again. And all at once I had a desire to play again. No I had not stopped playing music altogether but it had become so rare an occurrence that I would scarcely call it playing at all. So I restrung the guitar, tuned up, and started playing. It was good to do so without paying the penance of slanderous and venomous words each time I played. So there I was, working my way back into having an opinion of my own, a place in the world that was mine. I started watching the classic films that I loved so much and was denied for so long. I comforted myself in the affections of a beautiful woman. I played long into the night till my fingers once again bore the calluses they had once had long ago. But still I was much a home body, never doing much of anything but work and home.

The second quarter came without much fanfare. I picked at my insecurities with my the chosen of my affections. Love became more like obsession, my emotional baggage weighed very heavy, and I began placing the nails around the coffin of my burgeoning romance. But still I was optimistic, still I tried to keep to promises and professions made. It was about that time that an old friend made his way back out of the fog of years. My friend Drew, once one of my most trusted, had disappeared with nary a word some 5 years before. I had not known the reason why but when I heard his new wife was having his first child, a lovely baby girl to be named Keagan, I decided that distance or no I would not miss this event in the life of someone I had cared greatly for. It is one of the keystone decisions I made this year and one that I am most greatly thankful for every single day. Had I not gone that day and found out why the 5 year gap had occurred and that the reason for it was gone out of my life I would not have rekindled one of the true friendships I’ve had nor would I have went on to meet all the people who I would be introduced to because of the repairing of that relationship. I would not have met any of the people who have truly helped me grow as both a person, and a writer, and a man. I took him up on the offer to go to the open mic he ran down at Cardo’s on Wednesdays. Through this I met all the people I have added to my roster of friends, Dirk, Cooper, and Brandon at first, then our lovely little dose of sugar and sunshine Nancy, her Darkling partner and gatekeeper Bri, and all the cool kiddies that gravitated towards her. Yes I remember fondly the early summer nights. Getting to know the Freely boys, Spiritual guru Chris Cooper, and the Menace that is Dennis at Freely Fest. Staying up till 4 in the morning every Wednesday for breakfast after Open Mic Night, and trying desperately to learn how to play music with other people who were much more proficient at it than I. All the while the comic continued to develop and my creative proficiencies flowed like wine from a barrel.

The third quarter brought more of the same, and my social sensibilities brought me copious amounts of joy and deliciousness. We attended our first convention in August, a big step at the Wizard World Con in Chicago and went off wonderfully. But there was turmoil in my soul as my affections split and the hard realization of my own complicated nature sought to overtake me. September came in cold and bitter and I walked away from my planning and burned down the affections I had worked so hard to foster in myself and the object of my obsession. But I walked only to find that the destination I was hoping for seemed to have vanished off the map. Who could lay blame, I had behaved badly, I had not struck the iron while it was hot, another lesson learned. And so the 3^rd quarter ended in bitterness and longing.

October came and I busied myself with my fledgling cause. The ONE campaign had become a refuge for me to put my effort and emotions into. In the midst of personal turmoil it offered me purpose and respite, something that I could point to and say “There, I’m not completely useless, I’m doing something worthwhile.” And being involved was easy, for there were all the people, save one, that I desired to spend time with, and things got better, the wounds healed. And no sooner had they done so that familiar faces made themselves known again. And lo it was good, and the circle of friends was once again complete and whole. And so the hill bent downwards and the pace quickened and the good times began in earnest, and having learned the lessons of the past year I through planning out the door put my back to the wind, and let it have its way. And the upswing was full and lovely and lit with the light of a single sunbeam piercing the clouds. I got a new job, a hard gig granted but an offering that allowed me some financial stability again, I managed to avoid a painfully drawn out court battle and won the stability of my children, I got a kick ass hat and I made a memorable Christmas for my family. And today it ends, and it ends on a high note, a good place for the next movement to begin.

And so I await the coming of 2008. With no plans other than to live as one flash of lightning, always embracing the moment, and attempting to live with as little regret as I can muster. With my children by my side, my friends behind me, and the sun shining on my face, I walk onto the dance floor, and I take that temptress, that addle brained tart by the hand and spin her round about me. Do what you will New Year, do your best, or do your worst, I may not be the rock I was in years past, but there are other souls who have my back, and while I may not trust in your stunning gaze and tender inviting hands, I trust the family I’ve made for myself, an island no longer and all the happier for it.

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